Honey Morenzo Writes Some Stuff


My name is Honey Morenzo and I’m an occasional contributor to these pages. It gives me more practice re. writing stuff. I’d like to write more stuff but I’m not sure what about exactly. I have still not finished reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, but one of the things she bangs on about is that if you want to be a writer you need to write.

Wonder if I should go get a digestive biscuit covered with chunky peanut butter.

At least I’ve read some impressive big books lately, including Freedom by Jonathan Franzen. It has a marvelously complex and satisfying plot, a deep understanding of some aspects of the human condition and includes many mentions of birds…particularly a type of warbler. I feel quite virtuous about reading it because it is grown up and important. Jonathan’s great at the old typing.

The thing about writing a book is you’d have to decide what to wear to the launch…if there was one…and if it was a bestseller your hand might get really tired after signing loads of copies.

Am tempted to eat a banana but have already had an egg and some oatcakes and some rice cakes covered in thickly cut sugarless marmalade. Writing sometimes makes me ravenous.

I work in publishing so I should know more about writing stuff, only the job seems to involve a lot of PR work these days. Roderick Organza Treadmull, my boss, is desperate to shift ‘titles’…that’s what we call books…’titles’.

At the last PR thing we ‘threw’…somehow that reminds me of hefty women throwing metal balls at the Olympics…a gerbil escaped from the author’s suspiciously capacious briefcase (her book is about small pets for big city living). The name of the gerbil was Gertrude and she could, apparently, do some pretty endearing little tricks which is why she’d been brought along for ‘photo opportunities’. When she scarpered the main photos were of women screaming ‘rat!”. She reappeared from under a very large sofa when tempted by a Pringles crisp. Apparently she goes for the plain type and isn’t into cheese and onion.

Love Pringles crisps myself and the tube they come in can be very useful for pencil etc storage if covered with floral patterned paper. Not that I’ve done this myself of course. That would involve actually getting the paper and cutting it into shape and then locating a tube of Pritt, if you have one. It can get really leathery if you don’t put the top on properly. (When I went to a writing workshop the multi-jumpered facilitator said that small details can help bring a story to life…must make note of my insightful observations re. Tipp-Ex, photocopiers and that moody metal bit on hanging files.)

Really do need a cuppa now!



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